She begins to sing the chorus of Ty's lullabye again and he can't stand it.Judy, no,he says, going to her through the strewn minefield that was, only last night when he came in to give Ty a good-night kiss, a reasonably neat little boy's room.Stop, honey, it's okay.Įven though he's sure Tyler is fine (certainly Fred has had no premonitions today, unless we count his rosy sales prediction about the new Hiler roto), he feels a shudder course through him at the sight of those streaks, and it is not Judy's condition that causes it but what she's just said: Ty's gone. Well, he thinks, maybe on the Fox Network And he actually believes this, in spite of his continued blind confidence in his son's safety Well, he thinks, carrying her out the door (her arms have crept tiredly up and locked themselves around his neck), I'm over that little misconception. Preoccupation with work was part of it a stubborn refusal to let go of the idea that things were basically all right was the rest of it. How could I not have noticed? But he knows. She's lost maybe twenty pounds since the last time I picked her up like this, he thinks. He picks Judy up in his arms and is appalled all over again, this time by how light she is. and down will come Tyler, cradle and all. Nerves, heart, and mind, it wrenches at him ![]() It is an exhausted, lost sound that wrenches at him. Then her face cramps in a fresh agony of grief and she begins to weep. For a moment he sees gratitude in her eyes. She knows where she is and who is with her. Fred cannot call it sanity (no matter how much he would like to), but it is at least some sort of marginal awareness. She looks up at him and something comes back into her eyes. It's emptiness, as if something inside her has slipped aside and exposed a black hole She raises her head, and when he sees the terrified look in her eyes, he loses what little breath he has left. He stands in the door, all words temporarily knocked out of himįor a wonder, she does stop. Her fingers look as if they have been dipped in red ink. ![]() She points toward the place where the Ireland travel poster hung, and he sees that four of the nails on her left hand have been ripped partly or completely away. He can feel her trembling from the inside out. ![]() He sits down next to her on the bed, puts his arm around her, and simply holds her. But he loves her, has loved her from the first week he knew her, helplessly and completely and without the slightest regret ever after, and now love guides him.
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